In a week... ish.

Two steps beyond the edge
I can't undo this leap of faith
Takes my breath away

So high above the ground
You've got me hanging in mid air
Between here and there
Now all I have is You

(IN ONE WEEK.. ISH) I will be back in London on our SECOND missions trip! This time it is without an organization that is sending us, we are just going because we feel called. This time we are MAPPING out what our role will be in London. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart.. I just want to help people. Whether that be by giving someone a smile, some money or some counseling.. Maybe even directions. I don't care. I just want to be Jesus to other people. However I am needed. I will be there.

It will also be our One YEAR wedding anniversary! HOORAY! Its been one year.. It feels like its been five. I feel like its been forever, its hard and sometimes painful to remember who I was before I met my Husband. Its been a rough year, but its also been an amazing year. Things didn't pan out like we thought they would, and people came and went. But we stuck together, and we worked though some difficult things that most people never touch. We have done over 15 classes, and touched many people's lives. We have shattered the belief system of what love really is. I love him so much and he really works hard everyday to become a better person and a better husband. I am working hard to be the most excellent wife that there is.. I want to be the best for HIM!

So back to IN ONE WEEK.... We will be in Europe, heading off on this fantastic journey that God has us on. It is kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing that someone will slightly tap your shoulder to let you know that it is time to free fall. Then your head starts to lean towards the edge of the cliff, bringing the rest of your body weight gently forward. Free falling into the beautiful unknown.


If I just believe my eyes
I'd see I should be terrified
But I'm so alive

I don't know how or when
But I believe that You'll come through
Lord, I'm trusting You
Can't wait to see what You will do

I can't wait to see how vastly different our life will be in just three weeks. When we get back from Europe, we will be doing back to back Awakening classes, and... WOW ... Through all of the learnings we will get from our mission trip, and then all of the things we will be trained in and learning in India.. Those people who will be in these October Awakening classes will receive something special. Wow. I just cant wait to see what God will do in those classes. It will be a fantastic information overload! :)

For now, the day dreaming has started. We have already started packing and the butterflies have already started to fly around my stomach. Our whole lives are about to change.. I am ready for the freefall.

Thinking I can fly but I know it's You
Got me up here, no fear, no tears
Mind's clear 'cause I know You're here
Can't wait to see what You will do

blogal vomit

Where do I start?

My little Road Warrior

Like It Matters just got back from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and we had a great class! There were 10 men and 1 woman in the class! It was great, the energy was amazing in that meeting room that weekend. The class shifted to a positive energy a lot quicker than normal and it ROCKED from early on!
We drove from Texas to Minnesota, and it was my first time to Minneapolis. It was a nice drive, only about 15 ish hours with a night in Iowa. We got to go to dinner with some old friends at the Iowa Stater and just relax! There isn't a lot of time for that, so it was really good to enjoy it with some graduates that we havent seen in years!

Before the class, we got to go to the Mall of America! I've always wanted to go there, mainly because I had American Girl dolls, and I always wanted to go to the store! So I did :)

 Currently, we are back in Texas.. Gearing up for the battle of October that is ahead. I am so excited and nervous for the month of October. I am excited that it is finally fall and I will be able to wear scarves and jackets again! I love to bundle up now... When  I lived in California, the summer was always my favorite time of year.. As the years go by, I am finding myself praying for the cool air to come sooner.

I am finding myself overwhelmed by the coming events in our lives. Our one year wedding anniversary is coming up in two weeks! We will be in London, then to India , then Sacramento then Arizona. I am excited for everything that is about to happen in our lives... We are about to be making some huge changes to our lives, and our company. We will not being doing so many Awakening classes like how we have been doing forever and ever. I will have more information on this when we get back from India, but I am EXCITED to share with you all about the amazing new things God has in store for us!!!

Team LIM-123

So we have two weeks to prepare for our month long excursion. Getting things together like our luggage and paperwork is easy.. I am talking about PREPARATION.  I have started my Paleo diet (the same one I did before our wedding) today, and Scott started his HCG diet. We are starting to go back to the gym tomorrow, and Im going to go hardcore on the StairMaster!!! :)

I am also talking about preparation of my mind and spirit. I have found in the past that my anxiety could get the best of me during times of stress like this. Over the summer, I went to get certified as a Practitioner of NLP, and I did a "phobia cure" process with a gentleman from Brazil. My "phobia" was that I would get crippling anxiety before Awakening Classes, or when I was preparing for them. The anxiety came mostly from deep seated feelings of not being good enough, always failing at the projects I started and the guttural feeling of getting in big trouble. So Gilberto, the gentleman from Brazil did a process on me, where he literally TOOK that icky feeling from my body. I felt empty inside after. He said  that I would feel like this because that feeling has been there for so long, my body used it as a defense mechanism. It was a good thing.
And my anxiety is gone. Just gone. Its the strangest feeling, because there isnt a feeling there. So preparing for this big push ahead of me is giving me a strange feeling that I cannot put my finger on. I am very calm about everything about to happen, yet I feel like I should be anxious.

Also to prepare for our "battle"... I am starting to study.. A LOT. everything. Im going over my NLP manual, I am reading and obsessing over dermatoglyphics.. I want to learn everything there is to know about fingerprints and handreading. I am so excited about this... I just cant wait to see how this all unfolds.. I am finding out more and more that when I know how I can be "unresourceful", or if there is something I do not like about myself, I can change it. Yes, It's great that I can find out about my genetics, but that does not determine who I choose to be. I may be PRONE for depression, but when I know how my mind and body is wired, I can and will change those things. Which brings me to my next point..

I have been slipping lately on my own thoughts. UP UNTILL NOW... I havent done a very good job with dealing with my "stinking thinking". I have allowed negative thinking about myself and its manifesting into me being in a bad mood. I have not been on guard with my own mind, and I feel so bad about it. I will not beat myself up, though. I will make the commitment right now to take charge again. There is SO MUCH ahead of me and my family, so many big changes... I want to play BIG, guys. I want to do BIG BIG things!!! And I know that if I do amazing things with my life, I will need to have a positive mindset and a healthy love for myself. I commit to loving myself, so I can love other people MORE.

Chunk number 1.. JUNE

Wow.. SUMMER!... It's almost over!! HAHA! These last couple of months really have gone by in the blink of an eye. SO much has happened that needs to be documented, So I have to do this by bite sized chunks...

On our drive to California.. I think this is by Coachella

JUNE..

The start of our crazy summer. The first week, Scott and I drove from Texas to Orange County, CA. The drive was okay, we stopped in Pheonix after 17 hours of drivin. Some graduates of ours threw us a little BBQ, it was so nice seeing so many people I rarely get to see!
It was a great class, we had a couple of people from Sacramento in there as well. It was another small,  but powerful class.

The day after we got back from our road trip, we left for London. Scott and I were very excited to be going on our first Missions trip together. It was absolutely amazing, in some parts. The trip took an unexpected turn when we starting clashing with the other members of our group. Half way during the trip, due to be treated worse than dirt, we resigned from that church we used to belong to. It's just sad, I really understand why people shy away from religion. Most say they want to help the hurting and broken, most sing those songs that say "give me Your eyes so I can see"... But they don't mean one word of it. It doesn't matter someones position in life, their religion or skin color.. Jesus calls us to LOVE.

Jesus also tells us to be like children.. So we also ran around being weird.

So Scott and I did just so.  Anyone that came in our path we engaged with. Some people would look away, some would nod.. And then there were the people that we got to reach out to... People who were just looking for some understanding. People who wanted someone to vent to. People who needed money or food. People who just need a HUG... Those are the moments that made the trip worth while. While the rest of the group was skyping and facebooking at local cafes, Scott and I stood on the sidewalks. We smiled and said hello to people. We got to have deep conversations with people who were upset. We got to pray with people. We got to buy people food. We got to help people, and always got to share the gospel.

I realized that loving people is more simple than most want to make it out to be. Scott and I were Available and Committed to whoever was in front of us. Boom. That's it. That is how you help people. You are there for them, (available), and You commit to helping them in whatever way is resourceful for that person! SIMPLE! When people realize that I don't want anything back from them, that is when their hearts open to the idea that there IS a Living God that loves them. That's why He sends people into our lives everyday to either help build us up, or help chisel away at the un-resourceful things.

London was amazing, and when we got back home we had a couple of weeks off to rest. We then went to Sacramento on a business trip, and it was GREAT! We got to visit some friends at K-LOVE/ Air1 and got to see the studio. We had some amazing dinners with some awesome Graduates and I also got to go to a Comedy Show with Sierra Nevada! But that was in July.. So I will save that for my July chunkie post :)


For more information/pictures about our London Missions trip, go to

www.unchainedjf.org

We will be going back at the end of September, without a sponsoring church. We are scratching and clawing to pay for this all, so we are accepting whatever kind of donations anyone wants to give! We need money to buy food, train tickets and things like clothes and blankets to give to the homeless.

I believe this is above Lake Tahoe

oct.24,2011

I found this while I was cleaning out my old room here at my house. I used to live in the now guest room in our house before Scott and I got married. People don't understand that we did this on purpose, we wanted to honor God by honoring the "rules" and wanted to SHOW our kids what is the right thing to do!

Anyways, I found this in my old room from a speech class I took in college when I moved back to California a year or so ago.

I had ten minutes to write a commemorative speech. Here it is

There was a time in my life where my whole world looked so dark, and all I was searching for was a light. The candle inside of my heart was no longer burning. Then there was a man God put into my llife to re-light my flame and passion for living my life.
  He imprinted a belief system inside of me that I live my life by everyday, "When you live your life like it matters.. it does!" He has helped me find my purpose in life and continues to encourage me not only to dream, but to dream it and then LIVE it!
He is a man of great passion and a fire for helping people change thier lives for the better. He leadsa life of purpose by serving his God by serving other people. He gives selflessly to others by giving them his Heart Body and Soul in everything he does.
- His Name is Scott V. Black, and he is the leader of my life, a mentor and my best friend. He brought back my love and passion for my own life, as well as helped me find my passion and fire to help other people. . He helped me realize and believe that my life truly matters.


I love this speech. I love it because it still stands true today. While I was typing this up, I really wanted to add more to it :) Perhaps I will write up something like this and add to it each year! Man, speaking of such, I need a GREAT idea for a Valentines day gift to make my husband this year!

I am up to ideas!

-<3 v.b.

FEB FIVES

@beautifulurself

EXCITED:

1. To continue to be working hard to make our home a comfortable and lovely place to be. I am making baby steps, and am seeing progress finally!

2. To work hard today in my office, and then get to work on a couple of different projects after!

3. That Scott and I got so much stuff done this past weekend! We both worked hard together on cleaning, and it felt good! You could call it PRE-spring cleaning! :)

4. To have had more opportunities to read more because I have been waking up earlier in the mornings

5. For our February being our month of regrouping, getting ready for what God has in front of us! BIG THINGS!

6. For our concerts we are going to this month and next.

GRATEFUL:

1. For the internet when it is used in a positive manner. I love how I can listen to ANY Christian artist I want, for free. I love that I can read every version of the bible online, I love that I can inspire and bring good words to people through Facebook. I am grateful that we are aware of the battles in this world, and we can fight it with GOOD WORDS and the Good Word!

2. For my Husband. My wonderfully under-construction husband! I am grateful that he works diligently every day to change old patterns, create new ones, and working hard to be closer to the man and Husband of God he wants to be. I am grateful I am married to someone who learns from his mistakes, and moves forward in a positive direction! I am just so grateful that God made him ffor me! I am grateful that I get to be his wife!

3. For the hard work I get to do today and this week and the rest of my life. I am NOT looking for easy! I am NOT looking for ordinary! only EXTRAORDINARY!

4. For our wonderful little big family. I am grateful that I got to teach Christian how to paint with watercolors last night without him knowing what I was doing. I helped him with a school project, as well as teach him about the wonderufl world of ART! So awesome, I really miss doing art!

5. For this day.. This is the day the Lord has made, and I will be GLAD AND REJOICE in it!!! 

Bushido

Good morning, Warriors.

YES! Warriors!

I think people often get confused on why we chose to call ourselves Warriors. When you think of what a warrior is, what comes to your mind? Maybe a barbaric image of a caveman holding a club.. Maybe its of a Solider, fighting for his country.. Maybe it's a Samurai warrior wielding a sword, running into the battle.

"The unwritten Samurai code of conduct, known as Bushido, held that the true warrior must hold that loyalty, courage, veracity, compassion, and honor as important, above all else. An appreciation and respect of life was also imperative, as it added balance to the warrior character of the Samurai. He was often very stoic with a deep and strong philosophical passion. He could be deadly in combat and yet so gentle and compassionate with children and the weak."

Thats how I see us. Warriors running into a battle. No armor on the back. Fighting the enemy through hard work and dedication. I see us in that way, but not wanting to hurt anybody.. We are warriors in a different sense, fighting the enemy of the spirit. Battling through the tough stuff to stand for our beliefs.

There is a war constantly happening.. This war might not be something you are aware of, even.
This war is deadly, this war can break up marriages and families.. This war can tear friends apart.

It's the war of the mind.
It's the war of the spirit.

I am under constant assault of my mind and soul. I struggle on a daily basis with wanting to be liked, and with depression. I struggle through the stresses of this world, the bills and the hard work. I struggle with my walk with my God when other Christians want to tell me how far I have fallen.. Or what a victim I am! "Poor Valerie, she's just a little girl.. She can't handle this!"

And then I laugh.

And I laugh hard! We ALL struggle with these things, I am just more open about it!
My future husband and I are consciously working everyday in the battlefield of our mind and soul. I have to be on guard for these things, because when I go on "auto-pilot" and just go through the motions of life, I always open my eyes at the point of feeling so low and say "What is going on here? Why am I depressed?"

I know why.. I haven't been on guard lately. I have been nose to the grindstone, get through this day! I have had so many struggles and when I reach out to people I get burned in the end. I found this verse today and it really speaks to me.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

The path I will take in life is all determined by what is in my heart. And my heart was being shoved in the wrong place of wanting to be liked!! This is a big thing I am working on to get out of my life. I mostly do not care what other people think about me, but it is human nature to want fellow humans to accept you.
This is where the battle comes in.

This is where I go into my mind and figure out what is true, and what is holding me back. Here is some truths:

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. 

Psalm 118:8 (NLT)

 DUH. Thank you, God. I have wanted so bad to take refuge in a friend. I have wanted so bad to connect with fellow Christians. I really understand why people are so afraid of religion. Most Chrisitans do not remember this Psalm, and its the VERY MIDDLE of the Bible! 

I am a Warrior. A Dedicated, Loud, 100% committed Warrior for our God.

I will not be stopped by man on our mission to Awaken the people of this Earth. 

No Armor on the back.

fives for thursday

EXCITED:

1. I got up this morning feeling good! I feel like I lost five pounds haha
2. To have Christian music playing in my office and house 24/7
3. That I get to see if my rice method took the moisture out of my iphone later today! *crosses fingers*
4. To be drinking lots of WATER! Cleanse me!!!!
5. To be feeling motivated and organized and focused for work today!!!

GRATEFUL:

1.That the majority of the time I have a great attitude about life.
2. That God gave me the ability to smile through the tough stuff
3. For these pablano peppers filled with hash browns
4. That God loves me enough to love me even if I do something wrong
5. That my Mommy loves me so muxh

1. That I got to MAKE my Warrior relax yesterday.. He deserves a day of rest!!