Blogal vomit part two ( some healing )

I got slapped in the face. Hard. Just now.
My last post was two years ago and the question posed was,
"In two years, how will your life be any different?"

Whoa. How is my life different?

It is totally different from two years ago and also I am the same in many ways.
(up until now)

It is drastically different in the way we thought our business is going, God had opened some doors for us that we didn't even know where an option two years ago. He gave us a radio show, which has just been a really big blessing for us. We aren't making money off it, and we don't really know if anyone is listening or not... But we really have fun doing it! Scott loves to write and be creative, so this gets him into doing that every day. He is really opening up deep again with his writing, and I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for Scott. I like doing the radio with him because I get to sit with Mr.Black and give him cues and time cues and high fives during the breaks. I don't really do much, but he says that I am a big help, so I am happy to do it!

Our family is now drastically different. We now have a baby who is 15 months old, and the light of our lives. He really is a little bundle of joy. He is one of the happiest babies I have ever seen. He is so inquisitive and smart. I really think he understands a lot more than we think he does. I heard the other day, " Two year olds speak half English and half God." I love this saying so much. It's so true. Benaiah is learning about every single thing in his life right now, every aspect of living in this world is pouring into his Godly little brain. I believe that he can see spirits, I really do. He is such a beam of light. The only explanation I have of him is that he is truly a miracle baby... I know that now more than ever.

Some things that are similar: Our housing situation is very similar to what we were going through two years ago. Two years ago, we were evicted from our dream home, Now, two years later, we are facing another eviction fora nother foreclosure. Except this time the guy we were renting from had just been pocketing our money and he got the house taken away. Been searching for a home for my family for a month and half now and we keep getting turned down at every place. Two years ago when we had to move, we had no clue where we would go. At the last possible moment, (the day before we were moving) God gave us a temporary home. I am praying that He delivers us again, and no matter where we go, he delivers us into some rest.

Two years ago in June I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. What a weird time that was for me. So filled with anger and uncertainty. I had no clue what was to become of me, as a mother, and taking care of a child! And working! I didn't know how I was going to do it. And come to think of it,  I still dont hahah. I am getting better at managing six hats at once, but I have the dooming feeling that I just can't take it anymore. At least just not right now. I found out I was pregnant again about a month ago. I was actually really happy this time. I was just as scared as the first time, but I knew that there was a beautiful soul at the end of all of it, and it was so amazing on so many levels. Benaiah could have a sibling to grow up with, I could be a full time stay at home mom and focus on my babies and healing myself.
a Week ago, On My birthday, April 3rd,  I lost that baby... Hands down this has been the most painful experience I have gone through thus far in my life. The actual miscarriage was physically painful, but the emotional pain I feel is just so overwhelming at times. I wanted to just stop the world so I could cry and get it all out. Luckily I have some amazing girlfriends that also have been through this, who let me scream and cry and laugh and sccream some more at them. They understand. And I still feel so alone with it. I am just supposed to move on. Get on with life, there is so much going on around my family and I, that there isn't time for me to stop and grieve right now. that is why Iam writing this little blog here. I want to let some of this go, and I can come back to it a little while later.

I know that my God will deliver me and my family through all of this, and all the Glory will be His. Through the ups and downs and the impossibles, He always has been there and always will be there.

I am on the edge of my seat, here... I can't wait to see what happens next!

What if?..

What if you only had 

TWO YEARS to LIVE?

Would anything about your daily life be different?

ITS HERE! ITS HERRREEE!!!

EXCITING THINGS HAPPENING!!


I Cannot begin to express the feelings I have stirring in my and around me. We are on the edge of something BIG TIME here... With our Like It Matters.. With our lives!!!

Here is a little sneak peak into what we have been up to these past couple of months.. Here is our NEW Mission Statement (a rough draft, mind you!!!)

Like It Matters

Instititute of Mulitple Intellect

Mission Statement

TURN ON YOUR BRAIN

We are COMMITTED to assist our TEAM members in MAXIMIZING the POTENTIALS they were created with.  We will do this by;

ü     Identifying and quantifying their INNATE MULTIPLE INTELLECTS.

ü     Passionately delivering TRANSFORMATIONAL LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT training; Experiencing Leadership in Motion.

ü     Coaching; Instilling and installing- the knowledge and patterns needed to become…ALL YOU WERE CREATED TO BE!

…Individually and organizationally….

I AM - COMMITTED to do this with Passion; Heart, Body and Soul!

begin.

It is the first week of 2014, and I really am SHOOTING out of the gates this week!

During our Christmas break, I literally SHUT OFF my mind in hopes to regroup and relax a little. It turns out, when I completely turn off my mind, I tend to do things (or NOT do things) that I didn't want to do, or isn't a part of the person that I want to be anymore. After some arguments, tantrums and way too many tears, I have committed to taking control of my mind again.

I learned some amazing things in the year of 2013. I learned a lot of things that will help me mentally and physically, and I also learned a lot of things that I shouldn't do anymore... or ever. I would like to believe that I am not crazy, so I will change my pattern for the year of 2014.

UP UNTIL NOW.. A big pattern of mine would be to start something but never finish it. I started this blog with the best intentions of writing in it every week and giving awesome updates about our Leadership Classes. And then I dwindled down and got lost in "aaalllll" of the stuff I "had" to do. I have been doing a lot of planning-thinking about how exactly I could set myself up for the success that I want to see in myself. This blog is just another thing in my life to show me that I will finish what I start, and that includes MY GOALS.

My goals are not just.. tasks. These are things that I will be constantly achieving and changing in every aspect of my life. One of my biggest "wants" out of life is that I want to be closest to the person that I was put here to be. I want to be that perfect shining star that God had in mind with me when I was made.

I will post these later this week. I would like to see how these morph even more once we start class LIM 128 in Dallas this week!

travel stories.. coming soon

We come this way but once.

We can either tiptoe through life
and hope we get to death without being badly bruised

or we can live a full, complete life
achieving our goals and realizing our wildest dreams.

- Bob Proctor

In a week... ish.

Two steps beyond the edge
I can't undo this leap of faith
Takes my breath away

So high above the ground
You've got me hanging in mid air
Between here and there
Now all I have is You

(IN ONE WEEK.. ISH) I will be back in London on our SECOND missions trip! This time it is without an organization that is sending us, we are just going because we feel called. This time we are MAPPING out what our role will be in London. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart.. I just want to help people. Whether that be by giving someone a smile, some money or some counseling.. Maybe even directions. I don't care. I just want to be Jesus to other people. However I am needed. I will be there.

It will also be our One YEAR wedding anniversary! HOORAY! Its been one year.. It feels like its been five. I feel like its been forever, its hard and sometimes painful to remember who I was before I met my Husband. Its been a rough year, but its also been an amazing year. Things didn't pan out like we thought they would, and people came and went. But we stuck together, and we worked though some difficult things that most people never touch. We have done over 15 classes, and touched many people's lives. We have shattered the belief system of what love really is. I love him so much and he really works hard everyday to become a better person and a better husband. I am working hard to be the most excellent wife that there is.. I want to be the best for HIM!

So back to IN ONE WEEK.... We will be in Europe, heading off on this fantastic journey that God has us on. It is kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing that someone will slightly tap your shoulder to let you know that it is time to free fall. Then your head starts to lean towards the edge of the cliff, bringing the rest of your body weight gently forward. Free falling into the beautiful unknown.


If I just believe my eyes
I'd see I should be terrified
But I'm so alive

I don't know how or when
But I believe that You'll come through
Lord, I'm trusting You
Can't wait to see what You will do

I can't wait to see how vastly different our life will be in just three weeks. When we get back from Europe, we will be doing back to back Awakening classes, and... WOW ... Through all of the learnings we will get from our mission trip, and then all of the things we will be trained in and learning in India.. Those people who will be in these October Awakening classes will receive something special. Wow. I just cant wait to see what God will do in those classes. It will be a fantastic information overload! :)

For now, the day dreaming has started. We have already started packing and the butterflies have already started to fly around my stomach. Our whole lives are about to change.. I am ready for the freefall.

Thinking I can fly but I know it's You
Got me up here, no fear, no tears
Mind's clear 'cause I know You're here
Can't wait to see what You will do

blogal vomit

Where do I start?

My little Road Warrior

Like It Matters just got back from Minneapolis, Minnesota, and we had a great class! There were 10 men and 1 woman in the class! It was great, the energy was amazing in that meeting room that weekend. The class shifted to a positive energy a lot quicker than normal and it ROCKED from early on!
We drove from Texas to Minnesota, and it was my first time to Minneapolis. It was a nice drive, only about 15 ish hours with a night in Iowa. We got to go to dinner with some old friends at the Iowa Stater and just relax! There isn't a lot of time for that, so it was really good to enjoy it with some graduates that we havent seen in years!

Before the class, we got to go to the Mall of America! I've always wanted to go there, mainly because I had American Girl dolls, and I always wanted to go to the store! So I did :)

 Currently, we are back in Texas.. Gearing up for the battle of October that is ahead. I am so excited and nervous for the month of October. I am excited that it is finally fall and I will be able to wear scarves and jackets again! I love to bundle up now... When  I lived in California, the summer was always my favorite time of year.. As the years go by, I am finding myself praying for the cool air to come sooner.

I am finding myself overwhelmed by the coming events in our lives. Our one year wedding anniversary is coming up in two weeks! We will be in London, then to India , then Sacramento then Arizona. I am excited for everything that is about to happen in our lives... We are about to be making some huge changes to our lives, and our company. We will not being doing so many Awakening classes like how we have been doing forever and ever. I will have more information on this when we get back from India, but I am EXCITED to share with you all about the amazing new things God has in store for us!!!

Team LIM-123

So we have two weeks to prepare for our month long excursion. Getting things together like our luggage and paperwork is easy.. I am talking about PREPARATION.  I have started my Paleo diet (the same one I did before our wedding) today, and Scott started his HCG diet. We are starting to go back to the gym tomorrow, and Im going to go hardcore on the StairMaster!!! :)

I am also talking about preparation of my mind and spirit. I have found in the past that my anxiety could get the best of me during times of stress like this. Over the summer, I went to get certified as a Practitioner of NLP, and I did a "phobia cure" process with a gentleman from Brazil. My "phobia" was that I would get crippling anxiety before Awakening Classes, or when I was preparing for them. The anxiety came mostly from deep seated feelings of not being good enough, always failing at the projects I started and the guttural feeling of getting in big trouble. So Gilberto, the gentleman from Brazil did a process on me, where he literally TOOK that icky feeling from my body. I felt empty inside after. He said  that I would feel like this because that feeling has been there for so long, my body used it as a defense mechanism. It was a good thing.
And my anxiety is gone. Just gone. Its the strangest feeling, because there isnt a feeling there. So preparing for this big push ahead of me is giving me a strange feeling that I cannot put my finger on. I am very calm about everything about to happen, yet I feel like I should be anxious.

Also to prepare for our "battle"... I am starting to study.. A LOT. everything. Im going over my NLP manual, I am reading and obsessing over dermatoglyphics.. I want to learn everything there is to know about fingerprints and handreading. I am so excited about this... I just cant wait to see how this all unfolds.. I am finding out more and more that when I know how I can be "unresourceful", or if there is something I do not like about myself, I can change it. Yes, It's great that I can find out about my genetics, but that does not determine who I choose to be. I may be PRONE for depression, but when I know how my mind and body is wired, I can and will change those things. Which brings me to my next point..

I have been slipping lately on my own thoughts. UP UNTILL NOW... I havent done a very good job with dealing with my "stinking thinking". I have allowed negative thinking about myself and its manifesting into me being in a bad mood. I have not been on guard with my own mind, and I feel so bad about it. I will not beat myself up, though. I will make the commitment right now to take charge again. There is SO MUCH ahead of me and my family, so many big changes... I want to play BIG, guys. I want to do BIG BIG things!!! And I know that if I do amazing things with my life, I will need to have a positive mindset and a healthy love for myself. I commit to loving myself, so I can love other people MORE.